Who's around you makes you
#93 - a day out in London
Hi there,
The jumpers are out and the hoods are on - it’s winter, baby. How exciting. Saw a big gingerbread man outside a storefront in London this week (why I went there is in a bit). In the meantime, I’ve been warming up to lots of maths with my Maths Admissions Test on Thursday and planning a few days out for the months ahead.
Highlight of the week: going down to London to the House of Lords (a branch of Parliament) for a school event; 7 hours on the coach was plenty of fun, discussing all sorts of topics with 5 other friends. I also tried out my first ever Iced Latte on the stopover (neither loved it nor hated it) and had many fantastic conversations. My speech went well, according to those who kindly said so. Here’s an Instagram reel all about the night.
We always hear of the cliché “you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most timewith”. A Tamil movie quote of “Tell me who your enemies are and I’ll tell you who you are” also comes to mind. This idea struck me a few times this week:
I. It’s a Further Maths lesson and I’m sat next to Joe (real name btw 😄) as we do the questions in Further Mechanics.1 As we got our head down to understand how much and why springs extend on a slope (who says maths isn’t real life enough?), I observe how the pair in front of us are laughing at some video on their phone, there’s a couple on the other side of the room discussing girlfriends. I lament at how people are wasting their time and it’s these small efforts of working now that save time and increase success in the future.
This breaks into a discussion about exams and preparing for them, in which Joe says something that has stuck with me, “If you know you can do every single question from past papers, you know you’ll do well.” Simple but easy (think carefully about the distinction, introduced to me by Ryan Holiday). It was in response to me saying how the advice of “do all the past papers” seems insufficient.
While this conclusion seems obvious, I perhaps would have missed it. I would’ve ended up going over the MAT questions I got wrong to see how you’re supposed to get the answer but not gone down another level into deeper understanding of the methods, reflecting on their successful processes and seeing what I can learn. This conversation only happened because it was 2 ambitious studious minds which met (if I can say so myself); say this to someone else and the tree would’ve been chopped off in its infancy with a “What are you on about?”
II. The guest speaker for the evening at Lords was Eddie, an Old Veseyan. His story was one of determination and inspiration, telling us about spending his teenage years homeless and how the school supported him with that. He concluded that what allowed him to get through school successfully was the environment of care and acceptance the school had built - he would be seen as another person by friends and teachers who understood him (or at least that’s what I took away).
III. The school I go to is a ‘grammar school’, which has an entrance exam to get in and then a high grade requirement for the Sixth Form. What that means is you’re surrounded by intelligent people, a lot of whom are self-directed and want the best for them. It also means that there is competition of trying to be the best at something, whether it’s a subject or a skill.
What about the other ducks in your pond? 🦆
What that means - it’s a place where there is an in-built ethos of working hard and high achievement. In recent weeks, for me, it’s been seeing others prioritise their university admissions exams and that telling me that I should be too. It also meant a friend asking me “Are you making enough time for the MAT Adi, with all your other commitments?”, asking from a place of genuine empathy. His simple prompt has got me working a couple of times this weekend.
“In order to change our mindset, we must change our environment.” Robert Kiyosaki in his book Rich Dad Poor Dad
These three examples show the value in having an environment conducive to your goals; a ‘good’ environment is one which makes achieving whatever you want to more probable, easier and, arguably, more fun. What do we take away from this?
Change your environment to change your outcomes - put yourself in places where you can increase the chances of meeting new, lever-moving people (referred to as ‘who’ luck - my post on luck) and people who will push you for the better.
Be aware of who you’re spending a significant proportion of your time with - this counts for both in-person and virtually, on social media, emails and messaging apps. To quote Ed Sheeran, “I still know people I don't like and I should cut them out”2. Why waste time, energy and attention in relationships that you aren’t gaining from? And it doesn't have to all be success-oriented - if speaking to someone just gets you laughing or gives you a reality check, that’s good too.
Anyone can work hard to achieve what they want to, but it can be made easier with the help of others. Therefore, it’s wise to choose who these ‘others’ are and think - are they bringing you down or pulling you up?
P.S. scrolling through my Notion, I’ve found a nice analogy. “If you put a baby shark into a small fish tank, it will only grow to about 8 inches long. But put a baby shark in the ocean, it’ll grow up to 8 feet long - Sharks grow to the size of their environment. And, humans are kind of the same”
“To grow bigger you need to expand the size of your tank by: talking to new/interesting people, asking deeper questions, travelling outside your regular zones, being open to different perspectives, learning more(!) and picking up new skills or hobbies.”
Podcast of the week🎙️
Behind the Human with Marc Champagne: Overcoming Loneliness & Unveiling the Path to Purpose with Hinge CEO, Justin McLeod
It wasn’t a podcast where I learnt loads but I loved the vibe of acceptance, the importance of being self-aware and removing the stress around self-improvement.
Article of the week 📰
World Nature Photography Awards: the winning pictures
I love looking at these compilations, shows me just how beautiful nature can be.
Quote of the week 💬
I will not lose, for even in defeat, there's a valuable lesson learned, so it evens up for me. Shawn Carter
Wishing all my friends doing tests this week the very best. “You’ve got this” seems to be simple encouragement which I find to be somewhat helpful. See you next week
Adi
Have enjoyed sitting next to Joe so far this year; kind grounded person who operates with a good balance of humour and motivated pursuit
From ‘Tides’ of the album '=’