What about the other ducks in your pond? 🦆

#84 - what am I going to school for?

Hi there,

Seems like I’ve missed a lot of lesson time this week, with an appointment, a cricket match, an event at school and then an open day in Cambridge. I’m still afloat though, counting down the days (7.5) to when I can sit back and put my feet up for 6.5 weeks.

Highlight of the week: my day out in Cambridge. Collecting a mammoth 26981 steps and managing to get round most of the colleges, it was an awesome day, with some nice food - a crepe, Mum’s pasta and a KFC sweet chilli wrap 😋

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I also enjoyed doing a concert after 3 months, performing 3 pieces at Birmingham Town Hall. Our school band got this chance after playing well in March. Given we were missing a couple of personnel and most of my bandmates had come back from a tour of Italy, I thought we sounded pretty good.

Having taken a seat to watch the rest of the night, watching the other acts immediately confronted me with the competition we were up against. The other participants from all over the country were also outstanding, with music of different styles to what I’m used to watching. They all shone in different respects, whether it was musical brilliance, energetic enthusiasm or well-connected teamwork.

Thinking back on it now makes me think about the famous phrase ‘a big fish in a small pond’. My mental perception of how great our band is was created from being the most ‘premier’ at our school and then receiving the largest applause 3 months ago. Being shown that there were groups so much better than us was something to be realised, although it may seem to be obvious.

This is something my dad often tries to remind me about when I accuse him of not being satisfied with my success at school. He asks me to think about my equivalent top 3 in each of the 100s of UK secondary schools, then the 1000s around the world (and that’s just in my age bracket). They are my real competition, according to him, which he is right to say.

It is something I’ve heard many students at top universities like Cambridge can attribute to. From being the best in your class at school, becoming surrounded by equally or more intelligent people can be a shock to your system, a punch to your ego and can make you feel confused. After all, all humans are seeking is status and attention and losing that in an instant, turning into just another smart person, can be debilitating to process.

How do we work with this phenomenon? Look to become better versions of ourselves, moving one step closer to our goals with every action we take.

When discussing the debate between being a ‘jack of all trades, but master of none’, a friend said that it is “exhausting” trying to be ‘the best’ at anything, because there is always someone better in the world and it’s an endless journey of trying to stay at the top.

Perhaps then it is more useful and effective to look to build your own size from what it was before than look at how big you are in relation to the people around you. After all, position and ‘being the best’ is (as we’ve seen) relative and you could draw the circle in a different way that makes you seem like a small leaf in a bush.

A second thing to think about is leaping across to a different pond. In a talk at our school careers fair, one of the speakers shared his 3 biggest lessons, one of which was, “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room”. You should always look to meet people who challenge you to be better and learn from them.

That’s my view of ponds and lakes: they can be a barometer of success, especially if the ducks around you have had equality in opportunity and conditions. Often this isn’t the case and so focusing on your personal progress is best, always remembering that you can improve because there is someone/something more skilled than you.

(And also that physical geography is a real pain)

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Podcast of the week 🎙️

Someday Is Today: Achieve Your Goals And Live Without Regret - Matthew Dicks

A shocking backstory, Matthew is both practical and doesn’t shy away from going against the grain, really enjoyed listening to him

Article of the week 📰

‘You can’t say that!’: how to argue, better

I found reading about something we engage it very regularly yet never sit to consider and talk about refreshing; I’ve always found diffusing the tension as soon as I can and then being passive in confrontation (through texts for e.g.) works for me.

Quote of the week 💬

It takes humility to seek feedback. It takes wisdom to understand it, analyze it and appropriately act on it. - Stephen Covey

Have a purposeful week ahead, trying to become a better you

Adi