Making sure you are who you think you are
Making sure you are who you think you are
#63 - entrepreneurs facing the fire again
Hi there,
Only been back at school for 3 days but it feels back to routines already, in a good way. The Physics exam on Friday probably helped with bringing back a serious academic mood (harder than I expected but think I’ve done well).
Highlight of the week ⭐ : the return of ‘Dragons’ Den’ 🐉 . I fell in love with the show early last year and have been eagerly looking forward to the new series. Used it as a good reward for all my hard work towards Physics through the week.
2 weeks ago, we delved into the idea of hedonic adaptation and how we endlessly pursuit goals, luxuries and awards. In the post, I introduced you to a formula I’ve heard of before, popularised by happiness expert Mo Gawdat:
Happiness ≥ your perception of the events of your life - your expectations of how life should behave
Note here the emphasis on perception: the reality may be better or worse but your emotions are ultimately based on what you think of it, and how you process it. I’ve written about ways to perceive our life on a grand scale, looking for the good in difficult experiences and adopting an optimistic and opportunistic attitude. Today, we turn the mirror towards ourselves.
Before we get stuck in, editor’s note: initially, this was meant to have 2 parts about our view of ourselves and then others. This got too long, so we’ll start with ‘I’ today and move on to ‘them’ next week.
The story you tell yourself about who you are is powerful. Your beliefs fuel your mindset about everything. Our identity and our image of ourselves are key to changing behaviour and empowering our actions.1
So it is important to choose the beliefs that serve you and erase the negative ones that hinder you. For example, believing that you’ve got what it takes to get a high grade in your exams is fundamental to you convincing your mind that it is worth working hard to achieve it. As Marisa Peer says, “you make your beliefs then your beliefs make you. So you might as well make your beliefs amazing because your mind truly doesn’t care whether what you tell your mind is right or wrong, good or bad, healthy or unhealthy.
By belief, I don’t solely mean faith in your abilities to succeed. There are many different self-beliefs that we need to cultivate.
You are loved
You are worthy
You are enough
You are in charge of your life
You’re allowed to make mistakes and so on.
Notice how none of these is dependent on others and what they think of you. These are all intrinsic, implicit ideas about yourself that having faith in can give you freedom to truly live a life that is wonderful.
Sound a bit too woo-woo? I’m sorry, maybe I went a bit too far. Let me give you the other end of the story, switching from the caring encouragement to the straight-speaking truth. Remember that others understand who you are based on your actions. It’s important to be conscious of this and act in a way that aligns with the person you are, want to be and importantly, want others to think you are.
These should never be at odds with one another i.e. putting on a show for others, and displaying yourself in an inaccurate manner, is energy-draining, pointless and ultimately leads to you being perceived as an inauthentic, non-genuine and fake person. If you want to be seen as a kind person, that is something that matters to you - kindness is a value of yours. It should be reflected in everything you do, regardless of who’s watching.
Aligning your true identity with your perceived identity (flashback to a quote from a couple of weeks back last week #ourperceptionoftime - “I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.”) as much as we can lead us to a life of purity, peace and perfection.
“Character is what you do when no one is watching” - Paul Rabil
Your mind is powerful. You can change it to believe what you want it to believe. If you want to change who you are, you’ve got to start by believing you can, you will become that person and that you are a person with that quality. Armed with that self-belief, be your true self in the real world and make sure you are neither fooling yourself by not behaving in the way you think you are nor acting in a non-real manner to others.
Book of the week 📖
I had one focused session of reading Music of the Primes but going back to school coupled with my Physics exam hasn’t helped.
Podcast of the week🎙️
The Mindvalley Podcast: Priyanka Chopra Jonas on How To Rise Above Failure and Attain Success
A global superstar, her story is unpicked with lessons to take on board
Article of the week📰
Digital Eternity Is Just Around the Corner
We sometimes wish for immortality. This article illuminates that virtual immortality is becoming a thing.
Quote of the week💬
“Thinking will not overcome fear but action will.” - W Clement Stone
Be conscious of the truths and possible lies you tell about yourself. You might just be more awesome than you think
Adi
This is different to self-awareness, a quality I am increasingly understanding the worth of. We’ll explore this another time.