Your habits and your identity
Your habits and your identity
#40 - a proper summer's week - cricket in the Sun
Hi there,
It’s been a hot week, as climate change starts to show its true colours and the forecasts are rising faster than inflation 📈.
I’ve been spending the week ticking things off my expansive over-ambitious to-do list, indulging in some Disney+ and bingeing on all the cricket that’s been on offer during the packed summer calendar.
Highlight of the week: the Birmingham Libraries had put a £15 charge on my account for me failing to return a book borrowed during the pandemic (I think I lost it when taking it with me on a summer trip to Scotland 🙈) When I went in to re-activate my account, they realised that I was under 16 and it was during the pandemic…so they removed the charges 🤑 🎉
“I’m not an artist”
Despite having an artistically gifted mother and an equally able sister, the art of the paintbrush (pun intended and so enjoyed) has never been my strength. I’ve always tried my best, of course, and have produced some work I’m proud of in the past, but not quite Da Vinci style.
Last week, during one of the Eng vs Ind T20 Cricket matches, I dusted off an old mindfulness colouring book I’d bought at the start of last year1, dug out some felt tips I’d bought in India and slowly coloured in a page of the book; fair to say I’ve done a decent job.
The language we use to describe ourselves - “I’m not an artist” - reminded me of one of the opening concepts in the book I’ve currently got my eyeballs zooming through (whilst my head vigorously nods in resonance) - Atomic Habits, a clear, comprehensive guide by James Clear (you can tell I’m clearly going mad with the frequency of puns now).
Your habits are how you embody your identity. When you make your bed each day, you embody the identity of an organized person. […]
The more you repeat a behavior, the more you reinforce the identity associated with that behavior […] the word identity was originally derived from the Latin words essentitas, which means being, and, identidem, which means repeatedly. Your identity is literally your “repeated beingness.”
The example of a bed is interesting because it is something I have followed for the past few years, and it never stops making me proud: “I’ve done my bed, I’m organised, I’ve started the day on the right note (and look at my mum’s bed - the duvet sprawled across the mattress. Ugh, disgusting!)”
The root of the word makes sense - we become what we do repeatedly.
The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity.
True behaviour change is identity change[…] your behaviours reflect your identity […] you are simply acting like the type of person you already believe yourself to be.
It’s the difference between ‘I am a person who wants to become this’ and ‘I’m the type of person who is this.’
Examples:
It’s easier to decline a cigarette by saying “I’m not a smoker (any more)” than “I don’t smoke any more”
Vegans and vegetarians find it easier to refuse meat than anyone trying to avoid meat in their diet.
According to Nir Eyal’s nirandfar.com, research has discovered that far more people refused to eat a chocolate bar when they were told to think “I don’t eat unhealthily” than “I can’t eat unhealthily”. I “can’t” removes the power from you: it is as if you are under someone else’s rule, which your short-sighted ego will look to overcome whereas “I don’t” is firmer but also removes the element of possibility. As James puts it,
You are simply acting like the person you already believe yourself to be.
But why is this the case?
Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. […] The more evidence you have for a belief, the more strongly you will believe it.
It’s like a point scoring system: the more you behave (act) in a particular fashion, the more that seems normal. It becomes who you are. Consequently, the more you perform a behaviour, the better you get, the more you like it and so the more you do it. As we’ve explored before with my piano practice, this can either be an infinite positive feedback loop or a never-ending vicious cycle. (James explains it way better so do pick up his book - not being told to say this!!)
Public confession: I had in fact started with the story of my artistic wizardry last time, before being unable to convince myself that I could link it effectively to identity change and habit change (as I have today 😉), and instead simply repackaged the ideas from my Monday workshop on ‘Growth Mindset’. It wasn’t a post I was particularly proud of and because I had announced last week (check out the Book of the Week section) that I would feature Atomic Habits next time, I was dreading this writing session.
Yet I thought to myself, “I know that if I turn up and keep up my consistent streak, that is enough because I am a writer. (it wasn’t exactly that but more, I am someone who doesn’t slack and publishes every Sunday)”
This idea is so powerful it has even seeped into children's animation - in ‘Cars’, Lightning McQueen’s affirmation before a race is “I am speed”. 🏎️
Your habits shape your identity and your identity shapes your habits. Your habits matter because they help you become the type of person you wish to be.
A nice summary sentence.
Well, turns out that a post I thought wouldn’t be meaty enough is one of my longest. Quality or quantity, you be the judge (and let me know - I’m dying for a comment!)
Book of the week 📖
I’m on the final few pages of the amazing Atomic Habits by James Clear. Although I have heard many of the ideas featured here through other people, it has been put together brilliantly and explained in an easy-to-understand way, making it, easily, a handbook for habits.
Podcast of the week 🎙️
Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee: #259 Mindset Expert Explains How To Achieve Anything You Want In Life Today | Peter Crone
There will be lots of bombshells in your brain or ‘aha’ moments, promise.
Article of the week 📰
How to Solve the Problem of Plastic Packaging
Interesting exploration into our dependency on plastics, types of plastics, what we can do and the problems we face.
Quote of the week 💬
Very much attuned to this week’s Ray of Sunlight
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” - (attributed to Aristotle but actually precisely said by) - Will Durant
Apart from a billionaire or Greek god or goddess, who do you want to become? I’d love to become (continue to be) a creator, a learner and of course, the first two 😉
Adi
P.S. I’ve been educated whilst looking up emojis for today - Happy World Emoji Day 🥳!
Back in Jan’21, I wanted to do 1 page a week. That wasn’t followed through on.