Why do we imagine the worst case scenario that doesn't end up happening?
Why do we imagine the worst case scenario that doesn't end up happening?
#57 - PSHE and presents
Hi there,
It’s been a long week. A busier-than-busy calendar full of exciting stuff: a rock concert (a first time attending for me), a full day of ‘PSHE’ with self-defense and RSE and best of all…
Highlight of the week ⭐ : my 17th birthday! Upon reflection, the past year hasn’t gone quickly but rather has stretched out into a very significant one. The day itself was topsy-turvy: school was excellent, feeling like the special centre of attention for once, followed by a punctured tyre on the way to dinner (don’t ask) and finally finding a restaurant nearby. All in all, a wonderful day.
We suffer more often in imagination than in reality - Seneca, Stoic philosopher
As humans, we have evolved to fear uncertainty. That feeling of not having control can be debilitating. This is why imagining the future and what could happen can lead to crippling anxieties, stresses and worries.
To prepare for this, we, seemingly practically and sensibly, think of all the possible ways something could go wrong and try to mitigate1 for their chances and effects. We prepare for how the painful experience we’re about to undergo will leave us [enter negative emotion - hurt, anger, boredom].
Yet often, this representation of the future is untrue. Most of the time, the mind overcompensated and turns out, life isn’t actually all that apocalyptic.
Last Monday, around 35 of my year group went to the University of Warwick on a Maths trip, to attend 4 lectures on various topics. Despite my fond love for Maths, the £35 price tag didn’t cut it for me and I’d heard from a couple of the speakers before. Still, I thought to myself, “I’m going to feel so much FOMO2, missing out on a trip, a day out with friends and the chance to learn some cool Maths."
In the end, it wasn’t that bad. Most of my lessons were empty, giving the lessons a ‘chilled out’ vibe and people told me that the sessions weren’t remarkable.
To publicise a new Year 7 Maths Club I’ve launched this week (the first session on Friday went very well, thanks for asking 😉), I snuck into the end of their assembly to pass on a quick message.
Despite having done multiple exams in public speaking, my legs were shuddering, my eyes wandering and I couldn’t get my words out. Once I was done, I walked out, hoping I at least got my points across.
Later in the day, one of the Year 7s sees me in the corridor and says “Nice presentation Adi". In surprise, I say “Thank you very much. You know, speaking in front of 200 people is harder than it looks!” before striding on with a smile on my face.
And finally, (we’re nearly done, I promise), the ‘dropdown day’ on Thursday, my birthday. I wasn’t looking forward to a day full of serious topics like drugs, pornography, relationships and road accidents. What’s more, I knew that I could have been representing the school at a city quiz in the afternoon but couldn’t get through to the final team, who ended up winning.
Yet, you guessed it, the day actually went really well. I was sung Happy Birthday on 3 separate occasions and the lessons themselves were meaningful, some powerful and behaviour-shifting (I’m more attentive with seatbelt-wearing now) and others amusing (I never knew grappling people and throwing them to the floor was SO much fun). Yes, having lessons (double Maths and Further Maths, might I add) would’ve been great but we take what we get.
Back in 2021, fresh off reading one of my still-favourite books, The Psychology of Money, I found myself uttering this quote from the book a lot.
“Nothing is as good or as bad as it seems.” Scott Galloway
Along with the idea that ‘The past is the past, you can’t change it”, I think this is a good mantra to hold: “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality”. Use it as a key to turn inaction into action. Take that bold step outside your comfort zone, it won’t hurt as much as you think. Don’t let fear of pain stop you from action because the hurt of regret is far worse.
Book of the week 📖
The Wealth of Nations is an interesting book, both the content and its nature. The content is fascinating, albeit I’m an economics student, because of the seemingly revelatory, revolutionary way Adam Smith communicates his concepts, ideas which now form the bedrock of economics. The actual act of reading the book demands (see what I did there?) patience and 'throwing time at the wall’. You need your full concentration to understand the meaning he’s trying to convey3, behind the archaic and unnecessarily fancy language.
Podcast of the week🎙️
The WIRED Podcast: The most vulnerable place on the Internet
What a masterpiece in clickbait, you may think. This article is for the tech lovers amongst us: how are faces are being stolen and how the Internet could be slashed.
Article of the week 📰
The red line: Biden and Xi’s secret Ukraine talks revealed
Despite USA-China diplomatic relations deteriorating in the past few years, this article uncovers the crucial part China has played in, put bluntly, keeping the world together. If you want more, here’s an essay I wrote on a similar subject.
Quote of the week 💬
There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. - Epictetus
I’m hoping for a great week ahead. I hope you do too.
Adi
I’ve really wanted to use that word. I just think it’s a great word that says so much in one. Never get the right situation to though… (Never mind, just a little quirk of mine)
I’m particularly bad with this emotion. I’ve gotten better gradually but FOMO is a kryptonite of mine.
I even had to ask a teacher to close the door in Study so I could focus. I secretly pride myself on being able to read amidst noise (and similarly find those who insist on silence disgusting). Maybe I’m not as amazing as I think I am… 😢