Thinking about thinking about others
Thinking about thinking about others
#64 - why do we feel jet lagged? ✈️😨
Hi there,
Amidst our radical shift to the digital world, one physical thing still triumphs any technological advancement in the field of entertainment: board games. With a family friend coming around on Sunday, we dug out the Monopoly board and got stuck into a 4-hour long battle, stretching till 10 pm. We had lots of fun, I came third but alas, your weekly shot of positive energy and wisdom couldn’t be injected on time.
Highlight of the week ⭐️ : having 2 early finishes at school. Never hurts to have a couple of afternoons off 😁
Following on from last week’s analysis of the productive self beliefs, today I’d like to offer a refresh on the ways we observe and understand those around us. Our impressions of others act as the foundation of our interactions so it is important we successfully infer who someone is.
I’d particularly like to analyse the old adage “Don’t judge a book by its cover”. I’ll be the first to admit that I am heinously guilty of this. I can be very quick to judge people based on what I first see and form an opinion about them (think of it as an inaccurate conclusion drawn from a sample size of data points that isn’t big enough). Yet, every time I go for too long making assumptions about people, this excellent truth knocks me right back down.1
On an episode of The Art Of Charm podcast, they argue it’s to do with our brain being wired to seek certainty and that stereotypes act to reduce uncertainty. Labelling someone allows us to start predicting their behaviour and make decisions as to whether we want to be friends with them or not.
Perhaps the correct way is to start to form ideas about the new people we encounter - what they’re like as a person, their likes, dislikes, values and personality - and then shape this perception of who they are as we learn more about them. Similar to a lump of clay, we turn, mould, squeeze and stretch parts in a constant proactive nature to form an accurate representation of the person in question. If we are intentional in avoiding this ‘first sight’ bias and try to better understand who someone truly is, we will have more effective conversations, the person feels valued, understood and a strong connection is formed.
I’m laying this as an opportunity for you to consider what your general perception of the people around you is like and whether it is an accurate view of them. Do you take a critical stance towards people or maybe you are too accepting of people and refuse to believe the truth?
Secondly, it is worth mentioning here how social media, the Internet and the explosion of the digital world have meant we are being exposed to way more than previous generations. Scrolling through the feeds on our dozen apps, we are encountering 1000s of human beings every day, overwhelming us like being stood in front of a fire hydrant, with all sorts of random junk: complaints about the way cheese is toasted, opinions on whether Elon Musk really should’ve bought Twitter, advice on how to lose 5kg in 2 minutes and Mr Beast instructing you not to pause an ad and instead start a Shopify free trial.
(I can’t recall who to attribute this to but) We aren’t geared for this sort of overexposure and this has resulted in us defaulting to comparing our lives with the people we see online, or rather, the unrealistic version of themselves. We all only post about the rosy stuff, failing to prove a whole, complete picture of our lives to one another. It is a masked version of reality.
Rant over, the reason I bring this up is to remember this when you see people’s “I had these 15 achievements in 2022” posts or snaps of their seemingly heavenly beach home, sleek car or godly physique. As my mum reflected out loud to me the other day, celebrities are people too. Everybody you meet is first and foremost a person, full of fears, pressures, expectations, worries, ambitions, mistakes and regrets.
We can very easily make inaccurate judgements about other human beings. It’s our duty to be aware of our automatic biases and strive to better comprehend the actions, thoughts and feelings of those around us, to help us lead a more connected life 🤝
Book of the week 📖
Decision made: Music of the Primes will be saved for later. Dad’s going to be picking out one he wants me to read.
Podcast of the week🎙️
Oxford Sparks Big Questions: Can you cure jet lag?
Turns out that teenagers are permanently jet-lagged - listen on to find out why.
Article of the week📰
UK's old trees critical to climate change fight
We all know that plants take in CO2 to balance our climate. Turns out when it comes to capturing carbon, old is gold, twice as golden.
Quote of the week💬
The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. - Franklin D Roosevelt
Please don’t perceive me as being lazy for being 2 days late. I’ll see you Sunday, promise.
Adi
P.S. for more on consciousness and more surface-level perception, here’s a wonderful TED talk I watched a couple of years ago - https://www.ted.com/talks/anil_seth_your_brain_hallucinates_your_conscious_reality/
This even happened today when I was talking to a Year 11 at school. I had thought of him as a fun-loving tall rugby lad but turns out he’s a top-set-Maths student aspiring to study Economics at a prestigious university.