Talk through the walks you've walked
Talk through the walks you've walked
#125 - 1/4 of the way to 500 with 1/4 of my summer left
Hi there,
The school term has started and summer is officially over. A dismal downpour and cloudy skies all week signal the end of the holidays. Sadly for me, I’ve got this ‘dead time’ of 3 weeks before university begins, which I’d like to make the most of. I’ve got a few ideas - get my driving theory done, carve out more reading time, get going on the pre-uni Maths work and more final catchups with friends - but any other ideas would be much appreciated 🙏
Highlight of the week: an Edgbaston evening out with a bunch of friends. My slight worry around of sticking 6 of my friends, who would naturally form 3 pairs of 2, was quickly quashed. It was lovely to spend time together with everyone before we set off for our the next chapter.🏏
Last week featured my Qualifying Expedition for my Duke of Edinburgh Gold, 4 days of self-sufficiency with 8 hours of activity each day - a fun, grueling yet rewarding experience.
One thing I learned about myself was that I can be quick to give up or lack willpower when doing niggly things. Things like fitting a watch strap back together, feeding a strap through a buckle for tightening, or properly sealing the velcro strap (seems to be a theme here 😆) on the map carrier.
Ultimately, I got better at these insignificant tasks through the week, with the age-old way of getting better at stuff - practice - but also with some help from one of my teammates, Viraj. Being a bit more handy with these kinds of things, he did it for me a couple of times. However, when I approached him next, he transitioned into telling me to do it, under his supervision, often readily accompanied with a childish “You can do it” with a wry smile. Growth mindset in action!
And, would you believe it, I managed to pick up those ‘skills’ → more progress on the self-sufficiency skill level1. What was interesting here is that I only got better because I was encouraged into having a go and helped through ‘figuring it out’, instead of being spoonfed into doing it.
As I transition into a new phase of life, being an ‘old boy’ to the Vesey students I knew so well, I’m thinking about how I should be reciprocating the guidance and support older students gave me for those younger than me. Knowing me, I want to do this as well as I can.
The questions that follow are, “How best to give advice?” “Should it be based on my experience at their stage in the journey (which might be less detailed in my mind) or should it be based on overall life lessons (so less specific but applying rules of wisdom acquired through experience)?” and, as I often ask myself, “what would the younger Adi have appreciated from a Year 142?”
Perhaps DofE has led me to the answer - be there to encourage people, pick them up when they are down, and shine a light towards the right path. Point them in the right direction, but you don’t need to hold their hand down it - which is more time-consuming. I’ve found myself often falling into the trap of leaving people’s messages asking for advice unread for extended periods of time because I’m waiting for the perfect time to reply (which doesn’t exist by the way) and to give a huge response. Instead, an attitude of taking a couple of moments to offer a little bit of directional advice could just do the trick.
I recently came across an idea on a LinkedIn post by Sahil Bloom that you should “focus on direction, not speed”. He spoke about an aviation principle called the “1 in 60 rule”: for each 1 degree error in your direction, you will be 1 mile away from where you should be at the end of every 60 miles, highlighting the importance of direction and knowing which way you’re going.
This concept can be embedded into our lives too - it is much better to be going slower in the right direction than fast in the wrong one. You’re more likely to eventually get to your final destination if you’re heading the right way.
Therefore, when offering advice (or directions, reminding us of the initial DofE), it is important to describe what way to head and the path ahead, so those receiving our advice can travel in the right direction, at whatever speed.
It is crucial to note here that temporary setbacks, obstacles or failures make sense in this too. Since “failures are the stepping stones to success”, it doesn’t mean you’re heading the wrong way just because something failed or you missed out on something.
At every juncture, re-evaluation and reflection are important and we need to identify whether the path you’re going is the right way or if an adjustment is needed. As we learned the hard way a couple of times on DofE, failure to read the map or take a bearing to work out which way should be going can be costly. 🙈
Finally, if we think people are going in the right direction, it is imperative to tell them this. If someone hears that they are on the correct track, it strengthens their ability to push past the obstacles in front of them, however big they might be. They appear less massive because they know that the struggle will pay off - they are going in the right direction. Just imagine how reassuring that would feel.
To conclude (it’s been a while since I’ve used that phrase upside down smile), in our roles as supporters, helping those around us achieve their goals, we must let them learn for themselves rather than doing it ourselves. We should also help them work out which general direction to be going in, because that is more important than the pace or method.
Doesn’t feel like my best-ever work, but it’s a rep nevertheless - the biweekly trend continues.
Podcast of the week🎙️
The Intelligence - Current affairs: how batteries will green the grid
I love The Economist’s The Intelligence podcast episodes, because they cover 3 interesting stories in a good amount of detail and the quality is superb. Really enjoyed hearing about these three stories while getting my Thursday lunch ready.
Thing I’m grateful for this week 🙏
My friends at the Friday cricket, for being obliging to my request for a group photo at the end, when, really, they all just wanted to get home after the home side lost 😂😭
Quote of the week 💬
Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we'll ever do - Brene Brown
Thanks for reading, I do appreciate everyone’s support every week. Wishing you a stupendous3 week ahead.
Adi
To use gaming terms
Thoughts on the phrasing? I think it’s the easiest way to make sense of how many years it’s been since a university student left school
“See, blogging does make you feel better Adi” 😃