Stop being a garbage truck
#23 - tracking animals and being stung by bees
Hi there,
With a huff and a puff, we’ve finally gotten to half term. I don’t know why, but strangely, despite it being only 6 weeks long, it feels like I really need this 1 week break. This break is really the final opportunity to have a proper rest before the Easter holidays and then the exams are upon us.
Reporting back on my hockey games, we had a horrible 4-1 loss on Wednesday, the scoreline most certainly not a depiction of how the game went. We were on top for quite a bit of the game but they seized the opportunities brought by our mistakes and slip-ups. This morning, in blustery British conditions, slightly milder compared to the storm we’ve had this week (school had to be shut on Friday!), Sutton U16Bs drew 1-1 with West Bridgford. Our forwards just couldn’t shoot when they got into the D.
Other than that, it’s been a good week. The highlight of the week would be going to StarCity yesterday, a shopping centre + eaterie, to have a hearty lunch and also spend (waste) money at a games arcade.
I’ve also set about planning this half term’s time in terms of the priority index Must do, Should do and Might do.
Elaborating on the intriguing title of today’s post, it refers to an article I read yesterday morning. David Pollay, an author of 3 happiness books, introduced me to The Law of the Garbage Truck.
To summarise, he explains that people are garbage trucks, filled with negative emotions of anger, sadness, hatred, jealousy and that “as their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you.” Instead, we just need to smile, accept and acknowledge that they’re encountering a difficult emotion and move on.
This is extremely difficult to do. To not react when your boss, your mum, your spouse, your friend yells at you, especially when it seems, to you, to be for no apparent reason, is saint-like. After all, they yelled at me and so shouldn’t they get a ‘taste of their own medicine’? I don’t deserve to be shouted at but they do, for provoking me and upsetting my mood. This sort of thought pattern then progresses into a counter-back, a couple of more punches, a cut-throat argument-cum-fight and an unhappy mind.
But the better, more rational option is to understand this: “Let me be empathetic. Why might they be shouting at me? What has led to them being given or having garbage?” Once we’ve given thought to this, we can see it from their perspective and all we need to do is to choose the appropriate response: either ignore it, or if you can’t, smile, feel sorry for them and keep going. Don’t let some petty ‘garbage’ stop your day or spoil your mood. Unfortunately, not everybody understands this and ends up disposing of their waste onto us so it’s up to you to choose how you respond.
A common situation is road rage. We are all busy people, trying to beat the traffic and get to destinations ASAP. In the process, we are left being inconsiderate and duly annoying everyone else on the road. But, if you are one of the ‘victims’ of such disgusting behaviour, think for a moment, “Might they be in a rush because they’re in an emergency?” And even if they aren’t, it isn’t your fault and so you shouldn’t be upset about it. It’s happened, accept it, move on, get back up and get on with the life you’ve got to live.
Another place where we see garbage being thrown around is on the streets of social media. Anger, frustration and ill-hate are bonded to opinions that are carelessly dished out, with less of a filter, just because it’s online. It’s fair to say that this is the equivalent of flytipping, which is of course illegal.
Now, we all have some ‘garbage’ inside of us. That’s normal. In fact, that’s human. We all have some negative feelings inside of us and experience negative emotions at some point in life. As we’ve learnt, being a garbage truck is futile and unwanted. What I suggest you do is rather than misdirecting your anger onto someone else, either slowly absorb the pressure into dissolving the garbage into thin air i.e. be patient and realise that the anger will end up subsiding. Alternatively, as I do when I feel at my peak and about to break/burst out, I go alone into my room, my ‘recycling point’ and cry, yell, scream, shout, complain, do whatever the inner fighter and worrier wants to do.
Instead of being garbage trucks, there are a few roles you can become:
A shining star, spreading hope, positivity, happiness and brightness. Like a star, keep your face bright with a shining smile on it.
A book, imparting knowledge, wisdom, advice and intelligence to everyone you meet.
A water fountain, giving life to others, perhaps by donation or simply helping people.
A landfill, for people to unload and offload their struggles onto. The careful thing with this is that we shouldn’t end up in this position a lot. It is good to be a sounding board and to listen to people’s fears and anxieties. But it shouldn’t consume you.
Don’t be a garbage truck, it’s not nice. If you come across a garbage truck that tips its trash onto you, that’s OK. Remove it, accept it and move on. Don’t start picking through it, don’t take it personally because after all, you only live once.
Book of the week 📖
Half term should be an opportunity to whizz through to the end of Tomorrow Will Be A Good Day.
Podcast of the week🎙️
The Tim Ferriss Show: 571: Boyd Varty — The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life
Please don’t be put off by the length of this one. Listen to this wonderful conversation from a unique, unfamiliar perspective. Even if I didn’t learn much, it was a joy to listen to, especially the hilarious story about being stung by a bee, around 1:20:00.
Article of the week📰
The Quest to Make a Digital Replica of Your Brain
A delve into the future possibilities of medical tech
Quote of the week💬
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken” – Oscar Wilde
Keep your garbage to yourself. Dispose of it carefully. Everyone will love you more.
Adi