Remember to be kind to yourself
#20 - Disney's Encanto is a must-watch
Hi there.
It’s the end of the month and since I divulged my new year’s resolutions last time, I’ll be brave and share my progress on them.
Mindfully eat once a day - 8/10. Even if I didn’t stick to this religiously, I definitely ate more mindfully, without talking to anyone, without the distractions of media, chewing slowly and realising what I was eating, than I otherwise would have. I am going to be continuing this, more as a guideline to try and eat ‘mindfully’ at least once, but, in general, think about what I am eating. It will help with my permanent quest to be in the moment, a virtuous skill we should all strive to have.
Do yoga once a week - 1/10. Progress on this was zilch, apart from a hastily done 5 min yoga in bed one Friday evening. This didn’t happen because I didn't decide upon a time to do this. Having now thought this through, I think Sunday mornings can be a good fix.
I didn’t have a go at the monthly ones, again because not remembering I have to do them! I’ll devise a system around it. In terms of February, let’s go with yoga and eating 3 fruits and veg a day.
Apart from this, the upcoming week promises to be exciting with a mock German speaking exam (I’ve been reassured it won’t be scary; all I can do is my best) and a gig at the Junior Soloists Concert at school, as part of our school jazz band ‘Funky Bishops’.
Highlight of the week: forgot about this last time. Raking up the leaves in the front garden. Satisfaction is an incredible emotion, not much can top it.
I had a rather rubbish day on Thursday. I don’t know what caused it, whether it was losing our hockey game the day before or feeling a bit cold. Being a keen mathematician and a man who describes things in detail, I hate to say this but, to call the British expression, it was ‘one of those days’.
As I walked into the canteen at school, I thought to myself. “Why am I like this? What’s wrong with me? It’s a great day. I’m not normally like this. Come on, Adi, break out of this rut-like feeling and be happy!” Even jokes from my hilarious German teacher couldn’t cheer me up. It was only later when I got home I realised that was the wrong approach to take. After all, I didn’t know what put me in this bad mood.
As I realised later on in the day, what I should have done is acknowledged the situation “Ok, you’re feeling a bit blue, down. Why might that be?” We try and hunt down the cause, the root for the feeling. If you can’t, that’s ok as well. What we can do is to try and cheer up, do something that makes us feel happy. But if the mind wants to be upset, let it be upset. Give it the room to do feel how it wants to feel because trying to contain, change or force another emotion upon is sticking a plaster on a scab that will under the pressure inside, grow and become a wound. This is a principle I’ve upheld in the few times I’ve cried over the past couple of years: I stop the critical part of me from preventing me from bursting out everything I am angry about.
A big part of mindfulness and the stuff I’ve learnt from using Headspace is that we do not need to change our minds, we just need to be at ease with it. Their lead instructor Andy Puddicombe always refers to a beautiful analogy of clouds in the blue sky. Sometimes clouds crowd and cover up the blue sky. But we should be wise to remember ‘This too shall pass’ and that the blue sky is always there (unless you are in Northuldra from Frozen 2).
We don’t need to judge the mind for what it is thinking. The mind is allowed to think what it wants to. It doesn’t need to be controlled all the time.
Similarly, if you sense others aren’t quite themselves, although we feel the need to intervene or even confront them asking why they are behaving in such as way, whilst sometimes this may be the correct course of action, often it isn’t. That response is driven by the urge to make our companion feel happy and that if we don’t, it is somehow our fault. Maybe it’s more appropriate to give them the room to express the feeling they want to, as we choose to adapt to the situation. I definitely did this the next day when I felt some tension and low-spiritedness from him.
I’ve written before about helping your future self, but it is pivotal to be gentle, caring and loving to yourself now, from a place without judgement or criticism.
Book of the week 📖
A bit more movement to report, especially through Captain Tom Moore’s autobiography Tomorrow Will Be A Good Day. It is simply fascinating to learn about his life and what it was like to live back then, wildly different.
Podcast of the week🎙️
The BBC World Service Documentary Podcast: The rising cost of living
Explained an urgent, universal topic in a concise and simple way
Article of the week📰
How Accomplishment Journaling Can Make You Happier and More Confident
It could be a strategy to flick through this when you are feeling down.
Quote of the week💬
“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot.” - Michael Altshuler
I hope you have a blessed, kind week into fantastic February.
Adi
P.S. I’ve been addicted to 2 chart-topping songs from Disney’s new magical adventure ‘Encanto’, the sensational We Don’t Talk About Bruno (especially the version that puts together 21 languages 😱) and Surface Pressure (I can relate to a couple of the feelings in the 2nd one). If you’ve got Disney+, thoroughly worth your time.