Picking between 2 inviting propositions
#85 - no concerts in 3 months, 2 in 5 days
Hi there,
One of the problems with unpredictable British summer weather - a frustrating cocktail of sun, wind and rain - is not knowing whether to wear a short and long sleeve shirt to school. It has meant a couple of sweaty back mornings, followed by my decision being vindicated with rain in the afternoon. Thursday’s Culture Day wasn’t fun though, with my ‘kurta’ in hot weather.
Highlight of the week: lots to choose from. Probably performing (for the first time!) at Symphony Hall. A grand theatre that has staged musical masterpieces, I was on the glockenspiel (a type of xylophone, to the uninitiated) playing massed items that were met with raucous applause, definitely some of the loudest rounds of the night.
One of the banes of being involved in several differing pursuits - music, cricket, school leadership - is commitments and events clashing with each other. If I tried to count the number of times I was put in the terrible position of having to choose between 2 interests and inevitably disappoint one group/person, I’d run out of fingers.
3 weeks ago, I had one of these dilemmas: a cricket match away or conducting a Disney piece in the music tour party’s public rehearsal. I evaluated and came up with good reasoning to choose cricket: it was a cup final and I’d said no to 2 matches previously. In the end, although I didn’t make much of a dent in the overall result, I got a little trophy to take home.
This Tuesday, I have to get to make this choice again: doing some conducting and playing along or a game on Tuesday. Life gave me the opportunity to balance the scales: I’m looking forward to swirling up some music magic with my baton (most likely a spare pen)
This ‘full circle’ moment, albeit a circle with a quick time radius, made me think about just how inaccurate FOMO (fear of missing out) can be and what stories our minds can spin together - “You’re letting Mr Buxton down", “You won’t get to conduct until December”. The lesson to derive from this is to prioritise by asking the question “Will I get to do this again?” and being as optimistic and realistic (yes, both) as possible with your answer.
The story also teaches me about how you should look to ‘balance the books’ to keep both parties happy when you’re spinning multiple plates.1 Given that I said no to music last time, it was fair for it to take precedence this time - it was the ‘right thing’ to do. This idea can be stretched beyond choosing events - if your partner did the dishes yesterday, it’s only right for you to do your fair share the next time around.
I had a chance to practise this when my mum offered me a lift home from the train station yesterday. Taking a second to pause to consider how she’d picked me up thrice already this week, I politely declined in a mark of passive appreciation and gratitude.
Looking at life this way makes relationships seem based on transactions, rather than true connection, love and friendship. However, maybe this is a better way of maintaining a relationship with conscious recognition of what people do for us, thanking them for it by reciprocating that effort for them, making them feel valued and incentivised to help us again, knowing that we will both respect it and return the favour.
This week’s post may not seem as energetic or paradigm-shifting as others. Rather, it is (has ended up being) a reminder for you to examine who you owe. Who has given you their time or effort for your benefit and how can you make up for it?
P.S. I’ve given a lot of my time to others this week. I’m going to compensate for it by tucking into a film now. I’ll let you know if it’s worth your time.
Podcast of the week 🎙️
FT Tech Tonic - Peak social media: The ads machine
This was a very digestible look into the foundation upon which Facebook was built on and why its growth may stunt these days.
Article of the week 📰
Strive for progress and not perfection
The headline, especially, resonates with me as I approach a summer holiday in which I’ll have to face large projects that have gathered dust.
Quote of the week 💬
Stop waiting for the right time. Time isn't waiting for you. - Leonardo DiCaprio
Hope you clear out some ‘effort debts’ with those around you this week. 3 more days of school!
Adi
That’s far too many analogies for 1 sentence.