Not getting too high, so you don't go too low
#91 - how I ended the week well
Hi there,
We’re officially into Q4 of 2023, hasn’t that come around quick? A visit to Card Factory saw me realise that Christmas is less than 3 months away and signalled the end of Month 1 of Year 13. It’s been a multi-faceted journey with a jump to Year 13 balanced with university preparation. This month isn’t going to ease up too much either, as we sprint to half term in <4 weeks.
This week saw a couple of speeches, helping a Year 7 look for his bus pass in a huge field 🙄 and a couple of good test results.
Highlight of the week: my Friday afternoon. After a decent chicken sausage with a smattering of BBQ sauce over a meeting, I managed to crack a couple of Further Maths questions, spent the next hour with a friend (nice ‘vibe’), then an Orchestra rehearsal and a dentist appointment with no displeasure (I know, a surprise).
The family and I went on our first circus visit in over 7 years; breathtaking and incredible are 2 good adjectives to describe the stunts we watched. It was astonishing to see the risks they were prepared to put themselves through as well as to appreciate the masses of dedication to practice that would have been needed. At the interval, I jotted down a few of the reflective thoughts I’d had over the course of the first hour. 🎪
“It’s a team effort, loads of small hands” - the circus was never about 1 single person and even if there was one defining act, it wasn’t possible without others’ support, being stagehands of moving items or securing them tightly on the harnesses. It was very much a case of “the whole is greater than the sum of the parts”
“Anything is possible with practice” - these seemingly impossible acts (4 bikers in a spherical cage moving at rapid speeds without hitting each other for example) were made possible, maybe because of some pure talent but certainly a lot of hard work. It is a principle I can apply to my maths as I plough through my Maths Admissions Test questions.
“Everyone has a unique power” - related to this blog post below, it’s powerful to recognise what you’re good at and double down in becoming rare at it; the market economy world will reward the scarcity of your skill/knowledge/expertise appropriately.
The one I’d like to zoom into is “the showmen were also involved in the ‘helper work’. You’re never too big for your boots”. Quickly after owning the stage and performing spectacularly, the same people got their hands dirty in the less glamorous jobs of moving chairs and pulling ropes. It was a strong reminder of the importance of humility, a challenge in the position I find myself in.1
It’s very easy to lose your head and fail to be grounded when you’re on top of your game or feeling the benefits of a position of power. Taking yourself too seriously, pretending that you’re some alpha and demanding respect from others or, even worse, treating others differently in accordance to (how you think) someone with your status should are all unhelpful.
This is damaging for 2 main reasons I can think of:
It makes the landing a hard crash - when it’s all over or you lose what formed a large part of your identity, it ends up being more painful than it might have been before. Furthermore, any relationships you severed or bad impressions you made will be more difficult to erase. Remember,
“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.” - Warren Buffett
If you fail to get stuck in, you can’t be a good leader - to effectively drive your team forward and look after its members, you must empathise with them by going through what they are. If I stick to doing the comfortable, high-level work without putting myself through the less fancy work of emailing, helping out or other tedious work, I won’t be able to provide the support a good leader should.
A big example that comes to mind is watching my headteacher pick up rubbish off the floor after a virtual concert. This shocked my Year 10 self, who had imagined headmasters to be more self-conscious, a belief perhaps developed in a more hierarchical India, rather than doing the cleaner’s work. Even the language of “doing the cleaner’s work” highlights the key issue of not thinking of an issue being “someone else’s problem”.
How can I counter this? I think there are 2 primary methods helping me:
Constant reality checks when at school - this is the case at school when I have to follow the same annoying rules as others might or stand in queue to order my food.
Friends and teachers taught me exactly how I was - my closest friends have dealt with me in the same manner as before, which has helped the transition to becoming school captain be less jarring. It also helps me to realise when I may be overplaying something or crossing the line with how much I think of myself. Likewise, some teachers have joked around with me about missing parts of lessons or over-scrutinising my conduct and (very very occasional 😉) mistakes.
It reminds me of a lesson from Yuvraj Singh, an Indian cricket legend, who recalls how when he initially shot into fame, he was surprised to be treated no more special when he came back to his club side in Punjab. It’s the same with any position of responsibility and critical to keep spending time with these people who will remember you for what/who you were before and work with you to retain that part of you.
You might like to think of them as 2 limits on a sliding scale of confidence, preventing you from jumping excessively high but keeping you in check when you go on a downward doom spiral, reminding you of when you’ve done it before and how you can do it again.
A final point to remember is that all such fame is temporary and ephemeral. The stoics like to think about impermanence and ‘Memento Mori’, a concept of remembering the inevitability of death. It will all be over one day and what you consider so priceless now will mean nothing. Don’t get too worked up about it - stress less - and enjoy it while it’s here, treating it with just the right amount of respect.
Podcast of the week 🎙️
Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal: Steven Bartlett - 9 Secret Habits of a Multi-Million Dollar Entrepreneur
On the back of releasing another fantastic book, the Dragon speaks about his journey and what motivates people to work successfully.
Article of the week 📰
Felix Klieser: The problem-solving French horn player of the BBC Proms
Fascinating story about how to not let perceived limitations stop us in going for our dreams. Which reminds me of a friend’s ‘About’ on WhatsApp, which can be our
Quote of the week 💬
Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless. Jamie Paolinetti
Best of luck in overcoming your mind-made boundaries,
Adi
…as school captain. Even saying that may make come across egotistical, and perhaps I am. I think, however, that contending with fame and staying level-headed is a challenge for everyone, when praise is so addictive for our insecurities.