Why do we love the bad stuff?
Half term's here!
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
How’s your half a dozen days run? Pleasingly? A few troubles? Let me know.
Myself, the turn of weather has marked the arrival of the half-term holidays. Unfortunately, I have mock exams w/c 15 November and so preparation is now in full swing, if it wasn’t already.
That said, I’ll be *trying* to relax as much as I can with cricket and a few days out with family (Birmingham today, maybe Reading later this week).
My highlight of the week has to be the Walmley CC Awards Night. I snuck in an award for Best Bowler of the Year for the U15Bs, a rewarding feat, given I pride myself on my (mostly) accuracy. Here it is below:
For those of you blessed with sharp vision, you may have noticed the misspelling of my surname. As soon as I got the award, I noticed it and it gave me a small sense of ‘Grrr’ but hey, at least I got an award.
And that brings on nicely to the topic for the week
The negativity bias - why we focus on the negatives. It seems so natural for most of us.
The idea to talk about this occurred to me when I was tying my tie on Tuesday morning (a random event but hey, I’ll give you some context!). The day before, I had got my mark for a History test in which I had got 1 more mark than someone I compete against, internally. (Why we shouldn’t compare is for another issue but…) I like to set his score as a benchmark. And sure, I got a small kick of ‘Well done’. But it occurred to me as I was strapping my uniform on that the level/magnitude of emotion I felt was minute in comparison to how bad I felt when I was 2/3 marks behind him. It seemed strange and thinking back on it gave me a moment to wonder: why?
It brought me back to an article I read, probably last year. The writer writes, “Earlier in human history, paying attention to bad, dangerous, and negative threats in the world was literally a matter of life and death. Those who were more attuned to danger and who paid more attention to the bad things around them were more likely to survive.” So not noticing the footsteps of a nearby predator could make you die. It’s hardwired into us, to realise, react to, ruminate on and remember the negatives.
Now, I’m not saying we should completely forget and ignore anything unpleasant, of course not. It’s a trademark of high achievers, like all of you reading this: if we don't understand our mistakes or weaknesses, how will we improve? But I am here to tell you, to not be too hard on yourself. A lovely idea I once heard was “When you feel upset, stressed, angry or just sad about something, think - is this event going to play a huge impact in the broader scheme of my life?’. That question, in most cases, should prompt a No. So why stress?
One way we can intentionally manage this bias is by searching for things to be grateful for - (never, ever imagined I’d be plugging my own articles. But yes, a nice little story and lesson in the middle)
If you want to read my notes from that article, be my guest.
Book of the week 📖
I’ve gotten stuck into Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty. And I’m reading my first ever book on a Kindle! Well, not exactly - it’s on my phone’s Kindle app. But still, the note-taking process is so much easier!
Podcast of the week🎙️
The Art of Manliness: Time Management for Mortals
For a person in love with productivity, this was different. But still worth your time.
Article of the week📰
Can’t Stop Overworking? You Need a ‘Termination Phrase’
A fun one, and you might find it useful.
Quote of the week💬
“Courage is the commitment to begin without any guarantee of success.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Have a wonderful week.