The big questions need big answers
#103 - the beginning of an EOY tradition?
Hi there,
2023 comes to a close. Flicking through photos makes it seem like a long one with lots of things happening, as usual. I’ve not been able to spend the time I would like to in reflection about the year gone.
Exactly as we did last year, we went down to Reading to stay at our family friend’s, as well as go out for a meal and then to the close-by London temples. It means a “not at my desk” last few days of 2023 but I mustn’t let that derail me from much necessary thinking time, as we’ll explore today.
Other story-worthy moments in the week include some me-time in the town centre, buying all sorts of good stuff, after a chat with the previous school captain Suleman (over a hot chocolate tasty), a great big Christmas lunch (that feels a long time ago now) and more shopping the day after Boxing Day. However, the highlight of the week has to be my return to cooking! Yes, from a ‘resolution’ in 2021 of cooking every weekend to being restricted to my breakfast routine in 2023, it has been a fall from grace for my chef career. I’m hoping for planning for a resurrection this year, starting with this wonderful fish dish that I saw on Mary Berry’s Christmas show.
When I think about how much I thought about 2023, I’m tinged with disappointment. My journal entries have been fewer than I would hope, both on my Notion and in my lovely notebook. And there aren’t any huge goals that I feel I’ve worked on.
It is linked to a lack of reflection and planning time at the start of the year; now, I would blame not being able to when you’re away due to our Reading trip and that is partly the case. However, it is more likely not making the time to get into the chunk of my desired planning and reflection in the first couple of weeks of the year.
Rather than bemoaning 2023 as being washed away before you know it, I think it is better to learn from the mistake and start 2024 with intentionality and purpose. And a couple of things I’ve read this week neatly explain why.
Ali Abdaal’s newsletter drew a useful parallel between how long we spend making decisions and their impact. He talks about comparing the time spent on the decision as a proportion of how long it will last. The time we spend deciding what food to have at a restaurant or even at a clothes store is excessive in comparison to the time we spend figuring out bigger life goals, and I mean genuine ‘reckoning’, grappling with thoughts and trying to flesh them out.
But when it comes to major things, like figuring out which goals to work towards, I don’t tend to spend anywhere near the same proportion of time on the “figuring out” stage. If for example, I’m trying to figure out a major goal for my work life, that’s a goal I might be working towards for 2-4 hours per day, for the next year of my life. That’s a long time to be working on something. Surely, that merits at least 10+ hours of reflection and journaling and thinking about it and writing stuff down to figure out what goal I want to actually work towards in the first place?
I’ve been thinking quite a bit recently about how working smart means putting a good amount of effort in the right direction. If the ship works twice as hard as the others but is on the wrong vector, it won’t reach its destination in time. Therefore, it is important to a) know what the destination is and b) make sure you’re making progress towards it. If I am to journal more in 2024, one of the questions my template will have is “What progress did I make towards a Big Goal today?”
It is worth acknowledging that it isn’t easy to work out what you want to do in life, especially at the stage many of my friends reading and I are at. It feels daunting to think about what choices you make now could decide your whole future. However, that’s why knowing the direction is more important than the destination - as long as you’re moving in the right direction, as long as you’re moving, you’re doing the right thing.
“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” - Blaise Pascal
Time in solitude thinking about those big questions of “what do you want in life?”, “what matters to you in life?” and the like are important and huge, but they are also time-consuming and slightly intimidating. You may face some uncomfortable truths, you’ll discover a lot about yourself and you’ll be working with the weighty feeling of making big life choices.
"The best way out is always through"
However, I think it is better to be intentional than to ‘go with the flow’ of life. It is better to walk of your own accord than to be blown around by the winds of life. Linking to last week’s post about listening to clues from the Universe, we should be moving with intention whilst keeping an eye out for hints about the path we’re on. If you see someone hastily sprinting past you saying “Look out”, that’s probably a sign to stop, as are other less obvious cues. And since they are less obvious, you’ll need more time to pause and think about them - hence the journalling.
This hasn’t been the most actionable of posts and less preachy, more thinking out loud about how we can all do better at figuring out what we actually want to do with our time in this messy place called Earth and using this clean sheet of 2024 to get closer to achieving that.
We’ll finish with a useful piece of advice echoing our post from Naval Ravikant, whose book I’m reading at the moment.
What’s the most important thing to do for younger people starting out? Spend more time making the big decisions. There are basically three really big decisions you make in your early life: where you live, who you’re with and what you do.
We spend very little time deciding which relationship to get into. We spend so much time in a job, but we spend so little time deciding which job to get into. Choosing what city to live in can almost completely determine the trajectory of your life, but we spend so little time trying to figure out what city to live in.
These are highly dominating decisions. Those three decisions really matter. You have to say not to everyting and free up your time so you can solve the imporatnt problems. Those trhee are probably the biggest ones.
Awash with this “new year, new you” energy, we must approach 2024 with purpose and passion. Being able to decide what you want to work towards is an exciting thought - you get to plan what amazing things you want to achieve. Make sure you spend as much time as you need to work out what those things are and start to plan how you’re going to do them. What, how and why, the holy trinity of goals, are the start to a better you in this new year.
Book of the week 📖
As usual, my speed of running through fiction astounded me once more. As well as having The Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A Guide to Wealth and Happiness on the go, I’ve indulged in my 2nd murder mystery by Janice Hallett, The Christmas Appeal, the shorter version as thrilling as the first one.
Podcast of the week🎙️
The Art of Manliness #915: Finally Learn to Say No
Advice I’m often given - learn to say no. My key takeaway from here was thinking about the cost and benefit in terms of a matrix, featuring “pass the salt” favours. Have a listen.
Thing I’m grateful for this week 🙏
My winter coat with its hood, it has kept me warm and dry in this season of cold and rain.
Quote of the week 💬
Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. – Jim Ryun
The diary I bought for my desk this year is a colourful mashup of pink, blue, green and orange with ‘Best Year Ever’ emblazoned in block bold letters in the centre. Let’s make it that way, in honour of my diary - so that we can when I read through it at the end of the year, I can be proud of what I’ve done. I wish you the best in having the same too.
Adi