Step after step, with no one watching
#151 - sunshine, Szymanowski and steps
Hi there,
It’s been a little while since the sun came out (online; in person, London has been a magnificent May).
Exams done, to a good standard, and now to paartyyyy! In very civil fashion - a day out to The Oval for a county cricket match and then 2 fabulous concerts, providing tough competition for the Highlight of the Week.
I’ll go for the Thursday concert at the Barbican, watching Symphonie Fantastique. A piece I was thoroughly looking forward to, and enjoyed to the fullest: knowing the story behind why the music takes the journey it does made me appreciate it a lot. And some cheeky Chicken McNuggets on the way home topped it off too 😁
Speaking of enjoying to the fullest… I’ve been on 2 runs this week, both ‘PB’s for length, with an 8k on Friday and a nice 10k this afternoon; these have been in preparation for the Sutton Fun Run I’m doing next Sunday.
The above was sarcasm in terms of enjoying the runs, albeit mild - the pain that pulses through my lower body, the panting that arrests my breath and the sweat that proliferates along my head fail to please me profusely. (Proper alliteration there, it’s been English Language GCSE week)
So what makes me do it? Voluntarily? What’s the incentive to run?
When I signed up, it was for 2 reasons - to support my school team in the run (and my friends who are leading the school effort on it), and to push myself outside of my comfort zone. I’ve never been the most active person I know, running being an intermittent activity. I knew that embarking on this journey (pun intended) would be fulfilling, healthy and be something I’m proud of.
(As a sidenote, with a previous evolution into a main note, that is a very useful barometer for decision making - is this a decision I will be proud of? An entertaining story to illustrate the point here)
What puts running outside my comfort zone? It is a physically and mentally demanding endeavour, needing you to overcome fatigue and, as I’ve found, win a sequence of wrestles with your mind.
Running more over these past couple of weeks has seen my mind become a stadium, for several inner battles - “how much long before a little breather?”, “can I push myself to get to that tree before checking how long I’ve run?”. I am not perfect, I haven’t won all of them, but I’ve tried to empower the higher self to win most of them.
I’ve realised that it is that which is the beauty of running. It’s (mostly) a battle with yourself, with no one watching. There is no one relying on you to run, no one telling you to run and frankly, no one who cares if you run. There is the loose accountability of Strava and friends, but it isn’t binding. It’s these battles that shape your discipline, arguably our most valuable resource and skill (an interesting debate to discuss which of these two it is).
Here’s Ryan Holiday, stoicism guru and author of Discipline is Destiny.
I try to do something hard every day. That's sort of how I think about it. I'm not like training for something or trying to do it. I just try to do something that pushed myself physically for some amount of time. It's also probably also good for physical health, but that’s way down the line. I got a cold plunge recently and obviously, there's some scientific benefit. But to me, the benefit is doing it. “I'm gonna do this thing for however long, I'm going to push myself to see how long I can do this thing that is hard.” That's the value of it as opposed to, does it help your circulation or your nervous system?
Zooming out, this is what I’ve understood to be the main challenge and likewise opportunity of living on my own. You are accountable to yourself, and you only. Hence, working the discipline muscle even more is important.
“The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.” John Wooden
To close, the main takeaways are a) try running - it’s good and it’s good for you and b) seek for opportunities, however small, to exercise your discipline muscle.
And of course, c) please do donate to my fun-draising efforts, for next Sunday. It’s a brilliant cause - Birmingham Mind - and I will personally thank each person who donates for their kindness and generosity 😊🙏 - https://www.justgiving.com/page/aditya-muthukumar-bvgs
Podcast of the week🎙️
Michael has a very meditation-app-like voice, soothing and enjoyable to listen to. A great conversation too, persuasive enough for me to think about bringing meditation back to my life.
What I’m grateful for this week 🙏
The box office at Royal Albert Hall for being kind, as well as seating the entirety of my group together, much appreciated.
Quote of the week 💬
Success is a series of small wins. - John Maxwell
Another great week lies ahead, starting with another Bank Holiday - have a good one.
Adi