Short term pain for long term gain
#55 - a week long tissue-devouring misery
Hello there,
It’s been a pretty ordinary week: nothing special. I did have a heavy viral fever though that took out its anger on me, dealing my poor body with chilling headaches, high temperatures and lots of nose-blowing. Not nice. I’m very very glad to say that I am now all alright 👍
Highlight of the week: going shopping yesterday afternoon. A good lunch at McDonald’s where I wore my going-out-of-comfort-zone hat trying a Fillet-O-Fish and wrap, followed by going up and down aisles of clothes, to buy myself a new coat and jumper along with many other clothes for the rest of the family. Tiring but always nice to go to the shops, especially as Christmas decorations start to make their appearance.
On Thursday afternoon, I had a choice: I could either go to school from 4-7 pm to do my part in the mandatory tours for prospective Year 12s at our Open Day or take a rest at home, sleeping and recovering.
I really enjoy doing our school open days and wanted to help out. However, if I stayed at home and let my exhausted body take a break, I might have been in with a chance of going to school the next day and attending the Remembrance Service and another careers talk.
It turns out that despite my taking the evening off, I couldn’t go to school on Friday morning (I did for the 2nd half) - I was sadly too ill. It did make me think, however, about making sacrifices in the now to bear and enjoy the fruit of your labour in the future.
An idea my dad formalised to me a few years back as delayed gratification, it is the principle of putting off pleasure for a later date, even if it means difficulty in the present. You may know it as the basis of the Marshmallow Test.
Here, if I missed the evening, I can go to school on Friday but if not, then I might not and even could’ve spoiled the weekend for me.
A larger example might be me and millions of other people wearing braces. If I do, I can have a neat set of teeth but in the meantime, I have to contend with regular appointments, restricted eating, and brushing with more care (and time) than normal, to name a few of the inconveniences.
Think I’ve hit upon the right word to zoom into there - “inconvenience”. Delaying gratification isn’t ‘convenient’ but it is necessary. It isn’t easy and desirable because we have evolved, catalysed in this internet generation, to demand packets of dopamine or rewards now. Immediate ‘likes’, immediate replies, nonstop streaming, unlimited scrolling. We can fulfil our cheap desires at nearly no cost.
We are wise though. It seems that in most cases long-term gratification wins: exams, fitness journeys, savings goals. Overcoming the hardship in the short-term seems to pay off. So, lesson over: develop our ‘gratification delaying’ muscle at every juncture possible?
Yes…and no. There is room for happiness in the now. We can become a miserable wreck if we are constantly tying our joy to a later date, a date that may never come. We can be trapped in endlessly putting off feeling happy - “I will feel happy when…”.
This should be minimised at all costs. We should always take happiness in the progress we’ve made and keep ourselves happy in the present moment as well, in a way that doesn’t contradict our other goals and is healthy for our overall wellbeing.
This is where positive-sum activities like art, music, exercise, social gatherings and reading can help. Others like television and social media are certainly good at their job but they are too good at their job of keeping us entertained and making us instantaneously gratified. That’s the danger that we need to mitigate and be aware of.
Darius Foroux, in his article ‘How To Prioritise Long Term Thinking’ summarises it well.
Thinking about the future is a great strategy, but it’s one that doesn’t match our society. We value short-term gratification and want to have instant results with everything we do.
To play the long game, you don’t need to be overly focused on the future and give up your life in the present. That’s a waste of life. We all know that life happens right now, and it would be stupid to give up the present so we could have a better future.
The only thing you need is to adjust your expectations. That will not only help you to appreciate the present more, it will also make you more patient. Ultimately, that’s what this concept comes down to - making long-term goals to realise that it does take time.
All things worthwhile in life take time and intentional effort towards it, which conversely means avoiding other, sometimes more pleasurable activities. We need to say ‘no’ to these and store our pleasure for another time when you can have it in a bigger amount. But remember, happiness in the now doesn’t have to be traded for progress in the future. Yes, we’ll need to give up some short-term happiness if we are to achieve long-term happiness but we don’t sacrifice our wellbeing for the future. The future will also one day be the present.
Book of the week 📖
Not much progress here, always an uphill battle: to get me to read a book.
Podcast of the week🎙️
Editor Picks from The Economist: The Trump effect, imagining peace in Ukraine and should fans watch the World Cup in Qatar?
A well-picked well-written set of stories that we should all know more about, ably narrated as well.
Article of the week 📰
Everything you ever wanted to know about Web 3
Just as the crypto world shakes with a big story, get to know more about the next big thing on the tech planet - the metaverse is only a part of it.
Quote of the week 💬
If you are on the right path, it will always be uphill. Henry B. Eyring
I’ll see where I delay gratification in the next few days, I suggest you do too. It’s for the better of us both 😊
Adi