Keep going, you'll thank yourself.

#22 - happiness is essential

Hi there,

It’s been a very academic week. The exam boards released our exams’ ‘advance information’, intended to help us ‘focus our revision’. The information provided was of drastically contrasting lengths - from half a page to 20 pages. It’s taken a while to digest it all. Moreover, I’ve been savouring learning differentiation in maths, a mesmerising, captivating area of maths.

Other than that, I got my 2nd Pfizer jab this morning followed by a short trip into town. My weekend’s also been occupied by the intense Indian (Cricket) Premier League auction and following all the thousands of pounds being dished out like plastic cups.

Highlight of the week: getting through to Round 2 of the Perse Coding Team Challenge. A reader of the newsletter and friend Viraj, and I, worked hard, practised assiduously (came across that word this week. Essentially, carefully and digilently) and overcame the difficulty of him spraining his ankle playing football and so having to cope with audio-call communication. Prep for Round 2 is already in action.

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I started playing hockey in January 2020. In the previous 2 years, I’d been shoved into the ‘general Games groups’ of tennis, football and rounders which I disliked. So, I thought I’d try my hand at a fast-paced, exciting game. Then COVID happened. But through lockdowns, I’ve kept going back to hockey and am happy to report that I am certainly improving.

However, because of the absence of furious love or drive to play hockey, compared with my forte, cricket, if I have a bad day, the lesser me jumps into the car and says “Hey, why do I have to keep doing this? Anyways, I’m not as good as the others who’ve played for 3 more years than me.” And our minds are very good at talking us out of things (at least, mine is). Some of the on-the-face-of-it rational reasons my mind offered included my hands always finishing cold and numb, the gap in my skill to some others and that it gives me back a lot of time per week.

I had one of these days on Wednesday. Playing KES Five Ways 2nd XI (against our 4s), their right forward, who must have been Year 13, was accomplished at charging down and past me at left-back. The game mid-action, I was called onto the pitch, the score tight at 1-1. Within a split second, he’d raced past me and won a one-on-one with the keeper. As is human, the keeper groans that he’d just mentioned ‘that guy’ (he did at halftime). And, of course, you feel that it was your fault. Making matters worse, we couldn’t pull one back, the game ending 2-1 to them and me feeling like a loser, literally. I’ve lost the game for my team. A fellow centre-back says he was still “fuming” at my error. I walk to the bus stop, feeling utterly dejected, inadequate and distraught that a) we’d lost the game and most of all b) I’d been a big reason why.

We turn a page, and it’s Thursday night, the day of my club hockey training. I contemplate whether I should go and the doubts listed above pop in another time. But, my rational brain takes over (thankfully) and I convince myself, “Adi, the only way you’re going to get better (and so stop feeling bad) is by working hard. You should probably go to training”. And as you’d expect, I had a good training session, picked up on a few things and even impressed myself with a couple of my finishes. I come back home, relieved and satisfied.

What can we learn from this? A few things:

1. When things don’t seem to be going our way, when the sky seems loaded with dark, miserable clouds (bringing back our analogy from last time), just remember, ‘This too shall pass’. Most* things in life are temporary struggles and so not worth ruminating and depressing over.

   Walking home, my mind cast back to the sky analogy and as I’ve found myself a few times recently, I glared up into the sky and observed the pleasing arrangement of the clouds and the vastness of the blue sky. It made me realise the scale of my worry and problem: minuscule and so, I should move on from it.

   *I say ‘most’ things deliberately.

2. A friend of mine 2 weeks ago, who dislikes hockey more than he likes it, thought of slipping off to the easier option of playing football, over playing our home game. I persuaded him to play the match and at halftime, he was beaming at me, exclaiming, “I’m having a great game, aren’t I?”. I smiled and replied back, “Yes you are. But remember, it’s not how you feel when you are doing well but what you do when things are going badly that matters”. He responded with ‘wise words’. It’s how you exercise resilience, discipline and determination in adversity, in pain and in difficulty that counts. When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

I’ll let you know how my 2 games this week go!

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Book of the week 📖

Still exploring WW2-India with Sir Captain Tom. Check out his book here: Tomorrow Will Be A Good Day

Podcast of the week🎙️

The Jordan Harbinger Show: 614: Shawn Achor | Leveraging the Happiness Advantage

This podcast has been in my recommendations for a while. Checked it out…and it’s great!

Article of the week📰

If You Want to Be Happy, Learn to Love the Little Things

Nice personal anecdote, short and beautiful.

Quote of the week💬

“Fear is not your enemy. It is a compass pointing you to the areas where you need to grow.” - Steve Pavlina

Happy Valentine’s Day to you all, not that I have a valentine myself 😂!

Adi