Don't fall into the trap of failure
#24 - musical adventures
Hi there.
As I mentioned last time, I’ve had the week off which has been pleasant. My time has certainly been a lot less under the pump, as I’ve found a sweet spot between work and relaxing. I hope all my friends (reading this) have also had a good break from school, ahead of a tough 6 weeks and then a gruelling Easter holiday leading up to the exams.
My priority system of Must, Should and Might Do has proved very useful. It allowed me to then go on and delegate tasks to the 7 days I had. In terms of non-schoolwork, I’ve also been hooked onto the BBC entrepreneurial show Dragons’ Den.
Highlight of the week: playing badminton with 3 of my mates on Friday. I hadn't played with them in over 3 months and it was good to get some exercise. Although my legs the next day won’t agree!
I’ve been playing the piano since I was 6 years old. Correction, I played the keyboard for a month before whining about my fingers not stretching across an octave. I then restarted in 2015, learning famous Indian film songs by letters. I was then re-introduced to notation by another teacher in 2016 before starting piano lessons at school properly in March 2018. Since then, I’ve worked my way up the grades to recently achieving a Merit (between Pass and Distinction) in Grade 5.
But preparing for my Grade 5 exam was a painful struggle. Having jumped from Grade 4 music at the start of lockdown (March 2020), I worked through Grade 5 for the whole of Year 10 and then a whole Term in Year 11, which is very slow compared to my other instruments and grades. Although this leap was substantial, making the pieces tough, the rut was simply because I wasn’t practising enough, moving at a sluggish pace and barely making progress outside of the lesson. Looking back on this now, I have figured out why.
It would have started with a couple of bad practice sessions where things weren’t going my way. I must have been finding the music difficult. This then disheartens and discourages you. Why does this have to be so hard? When this happens a few times, the mind begins to attach a negative feeling to playing the piano; it is rewired to think “If I play the piano, I’ll feel bad. It’s difficult”. This, in turn, leads you to procrastinate and avoid practising, to avoid and stay away from the discomfort. This makes you worse and you can see where I’m going: it ends up being a vicious, counter-productive, disastrous loop of not improving and finding it difficult.
As human beings, we are designed to opt for ‘The Path of Least Resistance’ or rather, what will make us feel less sucky. So, back in 2021, if I had to practise piano, the mind would choose to avoid it, thus making me worse so that when I do convince myself to put in some work, it’s harder and the motivation is sapped away.
However, there is always the other side of the coin - you can use the reverse of this, the dopamine hits of doing well, to drive you towards mastery. Case in point: the saxophone. I started playing the alto sax in Year 10 for a few reasons. My mum thought it was a cool instrument (which it is), it’s the kind of instrument I could play at an imaginary party (which isn’t the case with the piano and the oboe) and I wanted to be a part of our school jazz band, Funky Bishops.
I had a few advantages here: my sightreading had improved dramatically over lockdown, I already knew the basics of music and so I moved rapidly through the music, without much particular difficulty, the fingering was nearly exactly the same as the oboe’s and playing a wind instrument wasn’t a foreign experience. Apart from the sax-specific challenges of embouchure (mouth position) and ‘instrument-specifics’, it was, and still is, a true delight to play. If I’m honest, it’s only now, 20 months and 4 grades later, that I’m starting to hit roadblocks and finding myself unable to cruise through the music.
However, this made a positive feedback loop last year. I’d take out the sax, play some music, find it easy. This releases dopamine in the brain, the chemical of pleasure, the hormone that generates addictions, associating a positive emotion with playing the saxophone and… I don’t need to tell you the rest.
This is why games are so addictive. You get an instant response and a sense of achievement when you accomplish a milestone or progress to the next level. The mind likes it, as it should, and wants more of it. But, sadly, the reverse is true.
Humans don’t always act to their better judgement, with strict discipline and rationality. To save yourself from future trouble, recognise when you are finding something difficult, figure out how you can fix it, gradually and smartly, with patience and self-compassion, to avoid the situation getting worse.
Book of the week 📖
Ever so close to the end of Tomorrow Will Be A Good Day. It has been a revelatory, fascinating read through a century's worth of time and a scarcely insipid life story.
Podcast of the week🎙️
Been listening to tons this week but my recommendation is
An intimate, close, valuable conversation between a multi-millionaire and a former monk.
Article of the week📰
Which Super Power Would You Choose?
Let me know which one you’d choose. Then find out what the deep meaning of that might be. Mine would be to read others’ minds, which, I guess, signifies someone giving too much importance to others’ thoughts.
Quote of the week💬
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” -
Eleanor Roosevelt
I wish you a successful week ahead.
Adi
Adi,
Moooosic
Your sincerely, Adham