Don't expect the future to go your way
#81 - a relaxed week of fun and sun
Hi there,
I’m back again, 3 days later. It’s been a nice half term, spending 5 days in the lush landscape of the Lake District and then some sport to end the week, with badminton on Thursday and a long afternoon in the sun playing cricket today afternoon.
Highlight of the week: watching my favourite Indian Premier League team lift the trophy. The rain delays ended up working out splendidly for me, with the 2nd half of the game starting when we got back from our day out. A thriller of a match, CSK won their 5th title, at 2:30 am.
In my 2nd half of this half term break at home, I’ve been working on my emails, cutting my unread count from 410 to 360 (coming from someone who used to preach ‘Inbox Zero’) 🎉. In the process, I came across a newsletter piece by time management expert Laura Vanderkam on how “life won’t be calmer next week”.
She unpicks the “quirky trait of the human brain” to believe that the near future will be better than now.
This week was crazy, but next week things should be calmer, so I’ll be able to start that big work project then!
She argues that “we are going to be the exact same people we are now. We are going to have the same amount of energy, and we’re going to be managing the same circus acts — whatever is going on now plus whatever else will no doubt leap into the ring”, adding the uncertainty in what the future holds. To conclude, she describes accepting this truth as 'liberating’ and asserts that “there’s no point in waiting for life to calm down. Instead, we can choose to build the lives we want right now.”
This rang true for me because of recent feelings that I hadn’t had a ‘normal’ week in a while. I’ve come to the realisation that it’s best to roll with the punches and start whatever I want to now, without waiting for the ‘right’ time.
It’s the problem I realised that I’ve been experiencing with waiting to join a gym: I’ve been so focused on finding a down peak in time, a trough of busyness, to bring a new dish to the table, that I haven’t made any progress in starting, instead of signing up at the start of Y12.
“Don’t wait. The time will never be ‘just right’. Start where you stand, and work whatever tools you may have at your command and better tools will be found as you go along.” - Napoleon Hill
This links in nicely with the optimism bias, which is when we tend to overestimate the chance of positive aspects of the future. You imagine that future you will have the discipline and willpower to study for 5 hours, even if you didn’t today. You trust your future self to remember to send that email next week. These sometimes unrealistic predictions affect our decision-making and eventually our success.
Likewise, we can extend the time we’ll be good at something, like I experienced with my inbox unread count. Ask me 4 years ago, I’d swear to you that I’ll never let the count hit double figures - and look what happened. It’s because you believe that you’ll change less than you actually do.
One solution is to always consider the alternative of the future you’re imagining, almost like playing devil’s advocate with yourself, and mitigate that eventuality. As I’ve written about before, the most important part of a plan is what happens if the plan not going according to plan.
You aren’t allowed to trust your future self. Now, what should you do, to make sure they don’t mess up? An example: on our Easter break, I left my new retainers at our family friend’s house. Luckily it was still there and it was posted across. What did I do to avoid that next time? Bought a smaller box to put them in, check I’ve always got them (out of habit now) and added ‘Retainers’ to my packing list.
Don’t wait to start, start now. Some progress is better than no progress. And remember, as Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” If you want the future to be different, something must change.
Book of the week 📖
Along with enjoying the superb The Obstacle Is The Way, I’ve started A Brief History of Infinity to learn infinite amounts about this fascinating concept (sorry, I couldn’t resist the joke)
Podcast of the week 🎙️
Daily Stoic: Tim Urban on Procrastination, Changing Habits and Slow Improvement
A high-quality conversation, may not be everyone’s cup of tea. Littered with first-hand experiences.
Article of the week 📰
A short blog post about accepting both sides of the coin called life
Quote of the week 💬
The secret to getting ahead is getting started. Mark Twain
What do you need to get started on this week? Me, reading stuff for my university personal statement
Adi